For this topic, men need to be thought of as lions. Lions are one of the only species in the animal kingdom who practice infanticide. That is when a new male takes over the pride (as it happens every few years) they tend to kill the young offering from the previous alfa male. This phenomena is the cause of 10% of all lion mortality.
So for our purpose, all we need to know is that men tend to find kids as a deal breaker. Not all, just those looking to start their own family. Their goal is to settle down and to be the patriarch of their pride. It is an ego thing. Why would they support another youth, be expected to take care, raise and nurture it better than the biological father without receiving any credit for their work? On a biological and evolutionary standpoint, this just doesn’t make sense. Especially if the child doesn’t call him ‘dad’. Because not only would the mother compare her new partner to her previous one, but the child, the mother’s family and friends would compare the biological dad with the ‘adoptive’ one.
Not saying that if you have kids, then you’re out of luck. Just saying this could limit your prospects.
Kids from other relationships tend to bring in tension. They tend to put the two adults against each other, especially if they feel left out or unloved. Not that blended families are not possible and or be completely functional, they are. Just the thought of being a part of a blended family, one that is not on his terms, is very difficult for the guy.
Guys are looking to be the partiarch of their own pride. They’re looking to find someone they can start a family with, not necessarily someone who will let them ‘join in’.
Having one is good, but having the wrong kind is bad. Just because you have a reputation does not mean that you are the unstable girl, the girl who is crazy. It means nothing. Except that you are a cause and effect sequence.
Give a girl a scenario and she will give out one result every single time.
Different reputations are part of the reason to why girls are single. If you have a reputation for throwing up every time you drink, guess what, then you look like a sloppy bitch who cannot control herself. Or if you have a reputation for hooking up with tons of guys, then chances are you are not girlfriend material. It’s really not that complicated.
Then there are the girls who have the reputation for not going out, for not being the first one to take a bong rip. These are the girls who may be single because guys can associate them as not as fun. I’m not condoning drinking or smoking, but the guys who would be attracted to girls who do are not attracted to those who do not.
So if you have a bad reputation, whatever that may be, try and improve on it. If you have a rep for hooking up with lots of guys, go out and make a point not to talk to guys. This will show the public that you can control yourself. Or if you tend to throw up every time you drink, limit yourself to two drinks.
Reputations are how you present yourself to the world. So if you’re trying to attract a certain type of guy, check and see if your reputation correlates to his expectations.
I’m Not Okay
No one really know what is wrong with you. There’s just something about you, the way you walk, the constant pacing back and forth. Like for the love of God, hold still! But even if you do that, there is just something about you that makes you not okay. It’s that super weird quirk that rests inside you.
Maybe it isn’t even a quirk, but it’s something. We just cannot put our fingers on it, but deep down, you know what it is. For some, it is mental instability. It isn’t the same as being crazy, it is feeling emotions and being completely able to justify them but for some reason you take it differently than normal.
This is fine, but not for relationships. Guys can sense this. Most at least. It is the unfortunate ones that do not have this ability and do not realize the danger they are getting into. The girl isn’t crazy, mean or bad, she;s just not emotionally all connected. Strange but true. And it will not be until she is happy, when she becomes ‘better’ that she will be able to have a functional relationship.
It is about being alright within oneself and understanding your body from the inside out.
Either you’re the one friend zoning guys or guys are the ones friend zoning you. In reality, there’s no problems with being in the friend zone. You may think it sucks, but it’s probably one of the best places to be in. This is because guys can confide in you, they can be there for you to lean on and you just have an excuse to hang out together without any pressure. This makes interacting with one another effortless, there’s no pursuit or pressure of pursuit, and there’s no one insisting the two of you to be a couple. It’s actually great.
However, guys tend not to see it this way. They tend to see it as more of a tease. If a girl feels comfortable enough with him that he might as well be her ‘gay best friend,’ then chances are he will not be getting any. And for him, that sucks.
But ladies, here’s the thing: if you knowingly friend zone guys, then you are knowingly limiting your options. And yes, that is your fault. But if you friend zone guys and find out later that you like them (or they may like you) you kind of screw yourself over. So try and just be friends. In our society, guys make the first move, so if he’s interested, he’ll let you know.
And if you’re the girl who always gets friend zoned, try and be more open, flirty and personable. The worse that can happen is he thinks you’re weird. The world won’t end and there will probably be a new cute guy next week. So put yourself out there, hang out with people, be bit risqué. You might benefit in the end.
So you go to a bar/ restaurant with the intention not to drink. You drove there, but your friends took a taxi. So you guys all enjoy your food but they keep ordering margaritas, tequila shots and god knows what else. They want you to dink. You say no, that you’re driving but they offer to spot you a cab. So what do you do?
Bet your ass you take the free shot of tequila.
They weren’t even trying that hard, you just give into peer pressure super easily. They know how to push your buttons, know what to say. Actually this goes for everyone, even that super hot guy that girls tell you to stay away from. Everyone and anyone can get you to do things you didn’t have nay intent to do. It’s because you’re easily persuaded.
Let’s stay with alcohol. If anyone can get you to drink, then what else can they get you to do? For sure, guys want a girls they can have fun with but a girl who just follows the crowd, who is just another girl in a tight dress trying to walk a straight line is not attractive. What’s attractive is a girl who can be responsible, who can hold her ground and who knows what she wants. Because if you can’t make simple decisions like if you are drinking that night, then you are in no place to make decisions in the adult world.
So hold your ground, and stay to your word. If you’re DD that night then stay DD. Always be honest. That means not going back on what you say.
We’re not asking about the amount of makeup you put on your face, whether or not you have on falsies (but seriously for future reference do not wear those on the daily, that’s just weird and you’re trying too hard) we’re asking about the faces you make. Yes, this would include the resting bitch face, the scary psycho face, the face that makes people uncomfortable, the mean and intimidating face. All of these.
As females it is our job to learn to control our faces. So saying if you know you suffer from one or more of the faces listed above, try and correct them. For example, let’s say you have a resting bitch face. When you walk down the hallways or the street, try and be mindful of it. Smile just a tad, not to the point where it looks like you’re a moron ad are talking to yourself, but the kind that makes you look somewhat pleasant. Or maybe you make that one face known to terrify people. Ya, don’t do that. That shit isn’t attractive.
But the sad reality is we have a hard time controlling our faces. So try and pay attention to other people’s reactions when they see you, or you’re talking. This will also help learn to control your reactions which could help hide the crazy.
Sometimes girls are very humbling. Nothing the guys does impresses them. Shania Twain’s song ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much” might as all be the anthem for these girls. Girls like these are very intimidating, they don’t care if a guy has money, if he drives a nice car or has a good body. They honestly don’t care about where you come from or what you do. They just wanted to be treated right. And impressed, of course.
Once in a while this girl will come across a guy who sparks her interest. He may not be the most attractive, athletic or rich but he’ll be able to have a conversation. He’ll be able to impress her through actions. These girls want to be shown they chose right in picking him.
Surprisingly as this may sound, such guys do exist. This kind of guy is the type who will be thankful every day for being alive. The type of guy who has stared death in the face and despite all the fear in the world, was able to come back a great human being. The guy who goes out of his way to help others, who selflessly sacrifices himself for his brothers. This may be the only type of guy the girl looks for.
Girls who are not easily impressed will only go into a relationship when they themselves are humbled. It will take a lot, but when one is so hard on others, it will take a special kind of person with heart to break girls of this curse.
Maybe being humbling isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it can be thought of as picky, choosey, particular or conceded but it is none of the above. Girls like this need to look towards the guy who is not seen by every girl but who will be there at the worse of times.
Sometimes, a girl needs to be humbled.
Not all too common, but once stumbled upon, it’s a glaring red flag. Girls who are under affectionate tend to not even realize they are. They just don’t have the desire to hold hands, display PDA and are perfectly content in sleeping in different beds. In fact, the very thought of showing affection may even be revolting to the girl. She may flinch with a touch of the hand or even shy away. So when they become in a relationship, or try to they rather not do so much touching. Yet the problem is, is while they’re fine with the relationship, the guy is in a loss. Does she actually like him or is she just using him? He doesn’t know.
Showing lack of affection can lead to the guy thinking she has a lack of interest in him. This makes it confusing at times because she can go from being very standoffish in public, to very nurturing, responsive and attentive behind closed doors. This tends to send very mix signals; he could think the two are just friends or even friends with benefits. Or maybe he thinks they’re in a full blown relationship. He’ll never truly know their status.
It could also be portrayed as disgust by her. When in reality the girl truly cares for the guy, she may not show it which could lead to his low self esteem. Guys are very egotistic so it is important the girl make an effort to be part of his life. Yes, both parties should be equal, but it is the girl who always go over to his place, who ends up picking him up food or making it. This is all aspects of affection and guys love every second of it. Almost as if they were catered to.
Now girls, if you’re not into PDA or affection whatsoever, this is for you. The best way to show affection is to try and be sneaky about it. Little things, like grabbing his hand and guiding him through people, sneaking in that quick kiss on the cheek or leaning on him. This display not only shows him you like him, but for the other little side pieces to back off, he’s yours.
Showing a little affection here and there is okay, but remember in public to keep it to a minimum.
There comes a point where you become your work. Where obsessing over every little detail about your job, your goals and future consumes you and turns you into a person who has nothing else to live for. By being so career focus, you’ve forgotten any other part of life. Suddenly birthdays pass, parties are missed and weddings are skipped because you’ve “had to work.”
When one is so focused on their goals and career, they are oblivious to the world around them. They are blind to anyone who might find them interesting let alone worth loving. People who are too career focused tend to worry about the future instead of the now.
But if you worry about the future all your life, there comes to a point where you do not have a future left to look towards. Instead you look into the past and realize all the missed opportunities, all the friends you’ve passed up, all the people you didn’t stop and say hello to.
Being career focus is a good thing, but it’s important to remember when in the job world you are nearly a number. You may be one of five employees at work but to your friends and the people who love you, you cannot be replaced. You are IT to them. Do not take that for granted.
Understand that the people who love you, who support you and care for you are the ones who will help you reach your end goal much more than your shitty boss at Target or chemistry professor ever will. It is the people who are always by your side, who want you to succeed, who want to spend time with you that matter. Because in the end, happiness and love are what’s most important. Don’t throw it away because of a stupid job.
Being in a relationship is difficult. Humans are jealous by nature, so when they see something they don’t like, they attack with all force. Trust issues effect both parties not just one.
When one partner does not trust the other to be faithful, that is an insult to their partner. There is a difference between controlling and protective. People who are protective put their arm around their partner. People who are controlling threaten their partner if they leave the house.
Basically, if you don’t trust your partner or your partner doesn’t trust you then there is no point in being in that relationship. There is a reason you are in a relationship in the first place, and lack of trust on either side will greatly harm the overall relationship.
So if you think there’s a chance you’re going to be cheated on or you’re going to cheat on your partner, that’s not a good relationship. Also if they tend to cheat in life (money, gambling, tests, games, etc) then they’re not going to be a good partner. Especially if they know how to cheat and get away with it. Remember, people are creatures of habit. If they’ve cheated before be damn sure they won’t do it again. But the thing is, is for the relationship to thrive you must trust them with all your heart and them you. If not, there will always be some kind of limitation on the relationship and no one will ever be truly happy in the end.