NO man should expect you to give him your undivided attention every hour of everyday but no man would want to come second to anything- especially a substance. Most people have an ‘addiction’ to something, whether it be alcohol, cigarettes, recreational/ prescription drugs or other nonconventional things sun as sex, caffeine, food and phones.
As there is an infinite amount of addictions, we’re going to focus on two different types of addiction (I made this myself, in no way do I pretend to be a doctor who diagnosed the different types). #1- Substance (drugs/ caffeine) and #2- Stimulus (phone/ sex).
Being dependent on anything isn’t sexy. It’s the dependency on something that isn’t even human that hurts. Especially since substances tend to take you way from human experiences. Your partner would probably see this as a form of escape, as a method of distance. For the abuser, they may just be making it easier to tolerate other people. But for those around you, for those in your life and who care about you, tolerating you and losing you to a substance is almost unbearable.
People who abuse substances are seen s unreliable and undependable. They may be great people but when they do not have their drug of choice, they can be a danger to themselves and the people around them. Relying on this person is near unfathomable. They cannot take care of kids, cannot take care of themselves. Honestly, they just become a child to take care of. No one wants an overgrown kid.