It’s one of those things where the only thing you know how to do is strive for excellence. Not saying that it is a bad thing, there are many times where it is important to strive for greatness, but relationships are not one of them. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, so forget trying to find something better. Find something right instead.
It is the one thing that has brought you so far in life. Maybe you were never satisfied in your performance be it sports, music, dance, art, whatever. If you’ve made a conscious effort to continue to aim to be the best, then congratulations, you’re probably among the elite. This logic applies to academics as well.
But constantly thinking you can do better may not be the best thing for you. Having this mindset can cause fault finding- something many girls suffer from. It’s good you don’t want to sell yourself short. It really is. As women, we need to know the value we have, need to respect ourselves, but if someone is willing to do that, to value, respect, honor, support and love you, then you may not be able to find anything better.
But know that if something feels right, now, maybe it will be right in five year. No one can ever know but if you feel like there is a chance he can give you all these qualities, then try. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Girls always talk about what kind of guy they want. Personally I say I just want the male version of myself, but then my friend wants a hockey-playing lumberjack who can bench press four times her body weight and eat ice-cream out of a bin while they watch Disney movies with her. Oh and he has to be brilliant. I guess what I’m saying is that we don’t always know what we want or need. The first step is picking out the right guy.
Maybe you’re caught up between two who seem awesome and amazing and you can’t pick one. Or maybe one guy asks you out and you don’t even know if you want to go out with him. Heads up, one measly little date or “outing” as we shall call it for the sensitive type, isn’t going to hurt anyone. You may even like him as a friend. Or more.
So say you’re dating some guy and you want to go out to eat. He asks you where you want to go, so anything with a response, “I don’t know/ care,” is invalid. He wants your opinion or input, that’s why he asked you in the first place. So please, make a decision, stand up for yourself, order the steak with fries instead of a salad. He won’t care, but don’t ask him for his opinion. Figure it out on your own and stick to it. You saying you, “legitimately don’t care,” doesn’t help. If you really don’t have an idea give no more than three options or suggestions that don’t completely revolt you. That way he thinks you’re involved but he gets a little bit of freedom himself. That’s the most though. We don’t want anymore, “I don’t know, I don’t care, you decide.”
Ladies if you tend to not know what you want, or don’t give an opinion, that’ s a turnoff. Stay to something realistic. Sure the hockey-playing lumberjack is awesome but where are you going to find one of those? If you don’t live in Colorado maybe it’s time to do some serious soul searching while keeping your options open.