Reason #30: Faces

Faces

We’re not asking about the amount of makeup you put on your face, whether or not you have on falsies (but seriously for future reference do not wear those on the daily, that’s just weird and you’re trying too hard) we’re asking about the faces you make. Yes, this would include the resting bitch face, the scary psycho face, the face that makes people uncomfortable, the mean and intimidating face. All of these.

As females it is our job to learn to control our faces. So saying if you know you suffer from one or more of the faces listed above, try and correct them. For example, let’s say you have a resting bitch face. When you walk down the hallways or the street, try and be mindful of it. Smile just a tad, not to the point where it looks like you’re a moron ad are talking to yourself, but the kind that makes you look somewhat pleasant. Or maybe you make that one face known to terrify people. Ya, don’t do that. That shit isn’t attractive.

But the sad reality is we have a hard time controlling our faces. So try and pay attention to other people’s reactions when they see you, or you’re talking. This will also help learn to control your reactions which could help hide the crazy.

Reason #29: Humbling

Humbling

Sometimes girls are very humbling. Nothing the guys does impresses them. Shania Twain’s song ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much” might as all be the anthem for these girls. Girls like these are very intimidating, they don’t care if a guy has money, if he drives a nice car or has a good body. They honestly don’t care about where you come from or what you do. They just wanted to be treated right. And impressed, of course.

Once in a while this girl will come across a guy who sparks her interest. He may not be the most attractive, athletic or rich but he’ll be able to have a conversation. He’ll be able to impress her through actions. These girls want to be shown they chose right in picking him.

Surprisingly as this may sound, such guys do exist. This kind of guy is the type who will be thankful every day for being alive. The type of guy who has stared death in the face and despite all the fear in the world, was able to come back a great human being. The guy who goes out of his way to help others, who selflessly sacrifices himself for his brothers. This may be the only type of guy the girl looks for.

Girls who are not easily impressed will only go into a relationship when they themselves are humbled. It will take a lot, but when one is so hard on others, it will take a special kind of person with heart to break girls of this curse.

Maybe being humbling isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it can be thought of as picky, choosey, particular or conceded but it is none of the above. Girls like this need to look towards the guy who is not seen by every girl but who will be there at the worse of times.

Sometimes, a girl needs to be humbled.

Reason #28: Under Affectionate

Under Affectionate

Not all too common, but once stumbled upon, it’s a glaring red flag. Girls who are under affectionate tend to not even realize they are. They just don’t have the desire to hold hands, display PDA and are perfectly content in sleeping in different beds. In fact, the very thought of showing affection may even be revolting to the girl. She may flinch with a touch of the hand or even shy away. So  when they become in a relationship, or try to they rather not do so much touching. Yet the problem is, is while they’re fine with the relationship, the guy is in a loss. Does she actually like him or is she just using him? He doesn’t know.

Showing lack of affection can lead to the guy thinking she has a lack of interest in him. This makes it confusing at times because she can go from being very standoffish in public, to very nurturing, responsive and attentive behind closed doors. This tends to send very mix signals; he could think the two are just friends or even friends with benefits. Or maybe he thinks they’re in a full blown relationship. He’ll never truly know their status.

It could also be portrayed as disgust by her. When in reality the girl truly cares for the guy, she may not show it which could lead to his low self esteem. Guys are very egotistic so it is important the girl make an effort to be part of his life. Yes, both parties should be equal, but it is the girl who always go over to his place, who ends up picking him up food or making it. This is all aspects of affection and guys love every second of it. Almost as if they were catered to.

Now girls, if you’re not into PDA or affection whatsoever, this is for you. The best way to show affection is to try and be sneaky about it. Little things, like grabbing his hand and guiding him through people, sneaking in that quick kiss on the cheek or leaning on him. This display not only shows him you like him, but for the other little side pieces to back off, he’s yours.

Showing a little affection here and there is okay, but remember in public to keep it to a minimum.

Reason #27: Career Focus

Career Focus:

There comes a point where you become your work. Where obsessing over every little detail about your job, your goals  and future consumes you and turns you into a person who has nothing else to live for. By being so career focus, you’ve forgotten any other part of life. Suddenly birthdays pass, parties are missed and weddings are skipped because you’ve “had to work.”

When one is so focused on their goals and career, they are oblivious to the world around them. They are blind to anyone who might find them interesting let alone worth loving. People who are too career focused tend to worry about the future instead of the now.

But if you worry about the future all your life, there comes to a point where you do not have a future left to look towards. Instead you look into the past and realize all the missed opportunities, all the friends you’ve passed up, all the people you didn’t stop and say hello to.

Being career focus is a good thing, but it’s important to remember when in the job world you are nearly a number. You may be one of five employees at work but to your friends and the people who love you, you cannot be replaced. You are IT to them. Do not take that for granted.

Understand that the people who love you, who support you and care for you are the ones who will help you reach your end goal much more than your shitty boss at Target or chemistry professor ever will. It is the people who are always by your side, who want you to succeed, who want to spend time with you that matter. Because in the end, happiness and love are what’s most important. Don’t throw it away because of a stupid job.

Reason #26: Trust Issues

Trust Issues

Being in a relationship is difficult. Humans are jealous by nature, so when they see something they don’t like, they attack with all force. Trust issues effect both parties not just one.

When one partner does not trust the other to be faithful, that is an insult to their partner. There is a difference between controlling and protective. People who are protective put their arm around their partner. People who are controlling threaten their partner if they leave the house.

Basically, if you don’t trust your partner or your partner doesn’t trust you then there is no point in being in that relationship. There is a reason you are in a relationship in the first place, and lack of trust on either side will greatly harm the overall relationship.

So if you think there’s a chance you’re going to be cheated on or you’re going to cheat on your partner, that’s not a good relationship. Also if they tend to cheat in life (money, gambling, tests, games, etc) then they’re not going to be a good partner. Especially if they know how to cheat and get away with it. Remember, people are creatures of habit. If they’ve cheated before be damn sure they won’t do it again. But the thing is, is for the relationship to thrive you must trust them with all your heart and them you. If not, there will always be some kind of limitation on the relationship and no one will ever be truly happy in the end.

Reason #25: Temperamental

Temperamental

You’re not just changing your mood because it’s that time of the month, you’re changing you mood because every little thing pisses you off and you feel like you have to take it out on the world. Every little detail, every imperfection, flaw and sore you see in other people enrages you.

It’s when you talk to others and you just get mad out of no where. Your poor friends have no idea why they’re being the victims, why they are begin lashed out at. They don’t understand because you don’t have the decency to tell them.

Stop lashing out at your friends, they don’t deserve that. Just because they’re the ones who will always be there, always stick by your side does in no way validate you treating them like shit.

So bitch, here we go. Instead of being rude and angry and pissed off at them, just don’t reply to their message for one hour! It’ not that hard. Take time to cool off and learn to communicate like a actual human being. They cannot keep up with the crazy mood swings, having to tip- toe every step around you. If you need a break then be honest and tell them. Please don’t just push them away because before you know it, you’re going to push everyone away and will end up alone and miserable.

So before you can learn to treat a guy right, look how you’re treating your friends. If they’re constantly wondering if you’re alright then you’re most likely a temperamental person. Breaks are fine, but remember no relationship lasts without work on both sides. So communicate like a human and move on from the flaws.

Reason #24: Feelings

Feelings

Those damn cooties. People alway tell you not to catch that shit, and if you do, abort. Abort at all costs.

However it isn’t the feelings themselves as to why you are single but rather the extant of which they reach. Basically it’s when you have either too many feelings or none at all.

Too Many: This goes out to all the girls who are super invested in their guy. The ones who fly head over heels every time he walks by. The one who can actually smell him before he knocks on your door. Ya, that girl is crazy. She’s the one who is waiting on his every beck and call. The one who is always willing to pounce for him.

This can get kind of scary. When girls have too many feelings too fast in a relationship, she begins to plan out their future together. The girl may talk about marriage before it is the appropriate time, may talk about raising their status. This is the girl who simply wants too much too soon.

Not Enough: Then there’s the girl who really could not care what he’s doing. She sees her and the guy as friends who talk and may hang out once in while but she has no investment in the relationship. She avoids doing the cute couple things, doesn’t like holding hands and would rather actually watch the movie. This is the girl who is completely fine with lack of PDA.

But the issue here is the opposite as the previous one. If the guy is making significant effort to try and develop a relationship, the girl will be too blind to realize this. This can be viewed as stand-offish and uninterested.

So basically saying, your feelings influence how you deal with relationships. Whether  you have too much or none at all, it is important to understand the guy and try and find a happy medium. Or be clear where you want this relationship to go from the get. It might send him running, but know what you want before getting in too deep.

Reason #23: Gossip

Gossip

Most girls don’t realize they are doing this. They just think of gossip as sharing stories, as being part of the social scene, but no. It’s spreading rumors, spreading lies and sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.

It’s simply talking about other peoples business. And we all do it, we all talk about what’s going on in the lives of others but here’s the thing. Unless that person told you specifically the truth and they told you to share it with another specific person,  and you do so verbatim, it’s gossip.

Intimate circles make it so much worse. If you go to a college with a strong athletic program, then all the athletes talk about each other, are in their business and are always interweaving between the social groups. People with jobs have the same problems. Working between shifts and stores makes gossiping so much easier.

Even talking between your personal social group and best friends. The sad reality is the only person you can truly trust is yourself. Say a guy messages you and you tell your friend. If the information gets back to him, he may think you were gossiping about him in a negative way. No one wants to be talked about. So if you’re willing to talk about something so trivial as a message, then what else are you willing to talk about?

Finally, ladies, the subtweeting, the sub posting, whatever its called needs to stop. It’s immature and people can take it the wrong way. Especially people you never even though it would apply to.

So here’s the deal. Don’t spread rumors or gossip. That shit isn’t cute. Instead be honest, talk to people’s faces and  don’t be the girl everyone gossips about.

Reason #22: Observer

Observer

The fly on the wall. The girl who people may know of but know little about. She’s smart to stay out of the social scene. The guys who are always dancing in the middle and the girls right next to them will not make good friends. These observers know this and rather not get involved. The ones who have the rare ability to learn form other’s mistakes.

The problem with constantly learning from others is your own lack of experience. Without having your own stories to tell with your own feelings and emotions, nothing is going to be that relatable to you. And to find a connection with another person, there needs to be some level of identification. If you do not have any experience in any type of field, then you may be considered boring, uninteresting, shy and stuck up.

In no way am I saying to sleep with ten different guys, drink until you puke, no. But rather, allow yourself to try new things, to get involved in a club. Just going to the meetings will not be enough. Participate and be active in extracurricular activities. Find something to be passionate about, don’t be afraid to talk up in class. Be engaged in whatever social scene you’re in, it doesn’t have to be limited to parties.

Maybe the smallest thing (such as a smile) can win the favor of another. The first step is getting outside your comfort level and to scare yourself. At least once a day.

Reason #21: Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem

No matter how many people tell you you’re beautiful, smart, perfect, healthy, you will always find faults within yourself. It’s for the girls who look into the mirror and see nothing but self hate, loathing, and sadness. It is the girls who do not believe in themselves, the ones who are at the breaking point. These are the ones who do not believe they are worthy of any adoration or affection.

Low self esteem among girls is a serious issue. The pressure to be perfect put on by the media, public and individuals is beyond reason. Support from others does help but to feel true self worth comes from within. Girls without high self esteem tend to hang out in the corner, don’t go to dance, rather watch than participate. It is the girls who wonder why their guy, friends or team likes/ values them. It is the girls who do not believe they can be anything beyond average.

Low self esteem is associated with hopelessness. It leaves girls with doubts in their brains and may cause them to even lash out at others. They may say hurtful things, cry without reason or refuse to participate in any social life.

For them to go out takes an immense amount of courage. The girls wish they were able to be the center of attention.

Yet what they do not realize is they are among the most beautiful people on earth. They can only see the good in others, only see their beauty and kindness. It is how they show love and affectionate for others where their beauty is hi-lighted.  It is a true sadness where the demons behind their eyes override the compliments and praise. It is a true loss when someone so beautiful, full of life, love, selflessness and kindness are overridden with self hate.

There will never be a true solution for those with low self esteem. Sure their exterior may be far from perfect, but small improvements on themselves can happen everyday. Regardless of the progress they can see, one can never give up the fight.

The demons in your head will be there everyday, but it is your choice to listen to them or not. Fighting such demons will be the struggle of a lifetime, will last you a lifetime. However everyday will get a little bit easier. Eventually the fight will no longer hurt.